The other day I came across something a friend of mine, Ali, posted about a young, vibrant 31-year-old woman, living with a spinal cord injury, who recently died of sepsis in the hospital.
Apparently, it took everyone by surprise, as it should you might think… But really, should it have?
As Ali pointed out, unfortunately, infection is all too common with spinal cord injuries and it is possible to not present any symptoms of sepsis (infection throughout the entire body) until it is too late, despite how well you may take care of yourself.
Furthermore, she went on to state that it took her several years to come to grips with the fact that death is literally at her doorstep on a regular basis with spinal cord injury. For example, something as benign as a kinked catheter could trigger autonomic dysreflexia (a condition that alerts individuals with a spinal cord injury that something is wrong), causing the blood pressure to skyrocket, the heart rate to plummet, and if left untreated, often leads to stroke or death.
This is just one example, as there are literally hundreds of things that can go wrong at any second when living with a spinal cord injury.
I have experienced autonomic dysreflexia more times than I care to count. Fortunately, I have grown so in tune with my body that I am quick to recognize its occurrence, and able to quickly treat it. However, it can strike at any time with no regard for where you might be, whom you might be with, or what you are doing.
As individuals living with spinal cord injuries have come to accept, it’s just one of those things…
I have also had sepsis. As recently as a few months ago, a week before my sister’s wedding, I was admitted to the hospital with a kidney infection which led to sepsis. The scary thing is that 12 hours earlier I felt absolutely terrific.
As individuals living with spinal cord injuries have come to accept, it’s just one of those things…
The tragic story of this girl’s passing, reminded Ali that life is so delicate, so fragile, and we should not take even one day for granted, as we never know when it could be our last.
For me, I was immediately reminded of the Latin phrase, Memento Mori, whose literal translation means, “remember that you will die.”
A few years ago I partook in The Art of Manliness 31 day writing challenge, and each day reflected on a different topic and then wrote about it. It was never my intention to share my musings with anyone. However, I felt that one particular exercise might be appropriate to share this time.
My original words from Day 11 (January 15, 2014) are below:
Admittedly, thinking about one’s own mortality is not a pleasant thought. And yet, I have probably been in a position to think about this more than most given the events I have gone through.
Interestingly enough, one might think that I have spent hours obsessing about this issue given the fact that I have actually coded in the past. However, the truth is that I have not. This even surprises me, but not a lot.
If I really think about it, I probably spent more time thinking about dying before I broke my neck. Now, my focus is more on thinking about living. I try to concentrate on everything I want to do and how I hope to someday achieve it.
Don’t get me wrong, I have not completely avoided the thought of facing my own death, but I reflect upon it more along the lines of how I might die – old age or some related ailment to a spinal cord injury.
Death does make me a bit uneasy. I used to lay in a hospital bed wishing I was dead, but now that I am alive I think about all I still want to do and how much time I have left to do it.
I wonder if I will achieve all of my goals, not before I die, but before those I love pass away. There is so much I hope to accomplish as a way of showing my gratitude to all those who have supported me, especially my family.
One thing that I recognize I need to do more of, is to pray. My faith is strong but it can always be stronger. I want to completely live with all of my trust in God so that when my time does come I will be ready, unafraid and accepted and rewarded with Heaven.
Mom, Dad, Lindsey… I love you.
Stand Strong!
Scott
True words. I think about it too often myself.
hello scott, great article, once again i enjoyed the pleasure of reading your blog. oh yes death, well We are set scott because we have the wonderful “I Am” Jesus Christ. i am so thankful for Jesus Saving us. just knowing He took All the sins of the people of the whole world to the Cross and Paid the sin debt for All People, for those of us who believe in Him as Our Lord who saved us, well We are Saved from Spritual Death. 1 Timothy 2:5,6 For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, 6 who gave Himself as a ransom for all, the testimony [a]given at [b]the proper time. ((a)1 Timothy 2:6 Or to be given) ((b)1 Timothy 2:6 Lit its own times). All Prayer through Jesus Alone. Scott i pray for you brother, You are Safe in His Hands. God Bless, mark
It’s true. We believe it won’t happen or don’t think about it. But it will. We need to be ready.
Take care Scott.
Lynne Thomas
Scott-your authentic words…inspire..what more could be asked of you? A true “Man for Others.” Awaiting your next post…God bless you , Dianne
Hi Scott,
Those of a sensitive nature feel the circle of life so strongly when the seasons start to change. Keep writing, musing, praying, and living your Life’s Purpose. God Bless and Keep You, my friend!
Jody
Thank you for another eloquent post. Your writing beckons me toward deep thought about mortality and how we can better face it. Of course, who else could inspire the rest of us to live fuller, more meaningful lives than someone who has peered over the edge of death multiple times? Whether you have chosen to do battle with death defying acts or having been passively victimized by serious medical issues, you have returned with more insight on both life and death.
There are so many people that actually attribute more meaning in their lives to you because your words stir our souls. Your journal entry about the finality of life and the promise of the hereafter penetrates me deeply and beautifully.
How BEAUTIFUL, Scott!
You are a GEM!
Thanks for always inspiring.
GBY – Mary
Another very relatable reflection that helps keep life in perspective for young and old alike. Thank you.
Scott – This hit home for me, especially today. Today is the 5th anniversary of my father’s death. I know he didn’t accomplish all that he wanted to in life but I also know that he accomplished all that he was supposed to in his lifetime. I pray that to be true for all of us. Sending you love and light. Your cousin, Gina
We all know we are going to die some day. It is just a matter of when and how. We don’t know how precious life is until we have a wake up call.
Each time I read your articles, I seem to be changed, with a more powerful appreciation for everything.
You always bring awareness front & center & I personally am better because I know you.
Thank you.