“The grass is always greener where you water it.”
The warmer weather has finally graced us with its presence, and by all accounts, it appears it’s here for the next few months. I’ve been spending a fair amount of time outside, especially on my porch, which I share with a few tomato plants, a strawberry bush, a lot of potted flowers and a couple wind chimes. There’s a new, fire-engine red, outdoor grill and an American flag that also occupy the space. All in all, it’s a nice little outdoor retreat situated in the middle of an apartment complex surrounded by parking lot on all sides.
Sitting outside this past week I’ve found myself reflecting a great deal on the whole concept of wants vs. needs. For whatever reason, each day seems to have a chunk of time devoted to comprehending this whole notion. I haven’t been able to escape it, so I just went with it. Perhaps it’s the warm weather, bright sunshine and familiar songs playing on my iPod that jumpstarted the ever present tumbling of thoughts in my head, but once they started somersaults there was no stopping them.
There is a litany of things I want. A ton of things for that matter. Of course, before my accident there were a lot of things I wanted as well. Mostly things that I had yet to experience, acquire, or achieve. However, now all those wants, that I once thought were awaiting me in the near future, have been unexpectedly replaced by past familiarities. I believe my wants to be much simpler now, yet the pursuit of them unbelievably complex and complicated:
A splash in the ocean, followed by a nap on a lounge chair with my toes sunk deep in the sand and a piña colada close at hand. Grass stains on my clothes from chasing little kids around all day. A few minutes spent trying to catch my breath after breaking into a spontaneous backspin, moonwalk and worm at a wedding reception. My fingers saturated with the smell of seafood from all the peel ‘n eat boiled shrimp consumed on a lazy Sunday afternoon. The list goes on, but you get the idea. I want what I had.
But then comes the list of needs. Do I really need all those things? Sure, they’re wonderful and great for the soul, but are they truly needed? To a certain extent, I give everyone living with paralysis or other serious health issues a lot of credit for dealing with the fact that our “want list” may always be just out of reach. If you really let that sink in for a moment, it’s not that easy to accept and some individuals may never accept the cardinal tenant of a spinal cord injury – your life changes and no matter how hard you try, wish or pray, things may never be the way they once were. That’s the bad news.
Our needs will most certainly include things we never thought we would need: Someone always nearby to assist with even the most mundane of tasks. House closets stuffed with inventory items one is more apt to find at a hospital. Wide hallways, open floor plans, doorways equipped with ramps. And let’s not forget the accessible vehicle, usually a jacked-up minivan or large conversion van.
But then there is the good news. Not just good news, great news. A beautiful metamorphosis washes over our wants & needs list and a transformation occurs leaving us with the everyday items some people will spend their whole life hoping to cross off their want list: Loved ones, most often family members, always with us by our side. Friends, and even strangers, who constantly want to go out of their way to offer their help and support. The ability to reach others with our words and actions in a positive way we otherwise might not have had the chance to. An appreciation for all the little things, that one day we will discover were in fact the big things. Great parking spaces.
When it’s all said and done, there will always be wants I will desire. Just as there will always be needs that I will require. However, the middle ground exists in focusing on the wants I can achieve that will better myself as an individual, which in the end, is all I really need.
I’m looking forward to enjoying another beautiful week of warm weather and sunshine, which will hopefully carry through the Memorial Day weekend. For all those traveling, stay safe. And don’t forget to fly the flag and take some time to remember those who sacrificed everything for our freedom.
Finally, I would ask you to keep my cousin and her newborn daughter, Wylie, in your prayers. She was born premature last week, but fighting hard.
Stand Strong!
Scott