Thursday – 8/9/2012

“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you can’t help but get that reality.  It can be no other way. This is not philosophy, this is physics.” – Albert Einstein

My massage therapist, Pat, shared the above quote with me. Along the same lines, she also made me aware of a book titled, “Pride and the Daily Marathon,” by Jonathan Cole. It is the true story of, Ian Waterman, who was suddenly struck down at work by a rare neurological illness that deprived him of all sensation below the neck. He fell on the floor in a heap, unable to stand or control his limbs, having lost the sense of joint position and proprioception, of that “sixth sense” of his body in space. After months in a neurological ward he was judged incurable and condemned to a life of wheelchair dependence. However, Waterman reclaimed a life of full mobility against all expectations, by mental effort and sheer courage. As the doctors had predicted, there was no neurological recovery and Ian had to monitor every movement by sight to work out where his limbs were, since he had no feedback from his peripheral nerves. But with astonishing persistence Waterman developed elaborate tricks and strategies to control his movements.

I had to look up this disorder after hearing about it, as it sounds very similar to what anyone with an SCI experiences. It turns out that proprioception is the sense of the orientation of one’s limbs in space. And just like an SCI, it doesn’t come from any specific organ, but from the nervous system as a whole. Without this sense, people would need to consciously watch their feet to make sure they stayed upright while walking. And drivers would be unable to keep their eyes on the road while driving, as they would need to pay attention to the position of their arms and legs while working the pedals and steering wheel. As horrific as it sounds, proprioceptive ability can be trained, as can any motor activity. The challenge for someone in my position is trying to regain this sense in spite of having damage to the neurological highways, i.e. the spinal cord nerves.

The reality is that I am always trying to do this. Whether sitting outside, traveling somewhere in the van, or just working on the computer, I often try to move my body. A hand, an arm or a leg, maybe even a toe. The idea is to never stop trying. In fact, last week after several minutes of intense concentration I think I wiggled my left big toe. I used the word “think” because it was not an overly dramatic wiggle, but rather a slow flicker. Normally, I would be quick to dismiss this as a spasm, however, in this case I was able to replicate it a couple times before burning out. Also, as a result of trying so hard, I believe I was able to trigger a controlled spasm. Who knows, it may not be much, but I intend for it to be something. It’s not enough to just want to move something, you must really intend for it to happen as well. I often tell myself that I am not paralyzed, but rather sitting very still and choosing not to move. I remember a story a friend once told me about her mom, who was living with a serious health condition. Her mom decided to just tell herself that she no longer had the affliction, and actually enjoyed several years without any major issues. The mind is a powerful thing. Where the mind goes, the body will follow. Don’t forget, it was also Albert Einstein who said, “I admit that thoughts influence the body.”

Last Thursday, my uncle Jim watched one of my workout sessions at Buckeye Wellness Center. He picked a great day, as I was able to trigger some activation in my legs, and trace amounts in my hands and fingers! I figured I had to do something to impress him since he drove 3 hours each way just to watch me. He was even so kind to bring me an egg salad sandwich from Corky and Lenny’s since I can no longer enjoy their famous corned beef. Unfortunately, I no longer enjoy egg salad either, but ended up sharing the sandwich with my mother – it’s just not right to let Corky and Lenny’s go to waste.

I wish I could tell you that was my only “cheat” this past weekend, but I had to make one more exception Saturday night. Mike, the trainer from BWC, threw a surprise birthday party for his wife, Jennie, at Sushi Rock in Beachwood. The restaurant is right next door to the apartment I used to live in with Kristy. It was the first time I had been back to the area since my accident and it felt a little weird. However, any feelings of glum were quickly thwarted once I saw the look on Jennie’s face when I surprised her by showing up. She was definitely surprised, and Mike did a great job hosting the little soirée.

Before heading out for the party, I was able to catch up with one of my best friends from high school, also named Mike, who was in town. I think the last time I remember catching up with him was over 12 years ago when we went skydiving together. Nonetheless, you would’ve thought we had seen each other a few days earlier by the way we were able to pick up and reconnect.

Finally, take 2 minutes to check out the video below.

Thank you to everyone for all of your continued prayers and support!

Stand Strong!

Scott