“Letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life.”
Well, to state the obvious, today is July 3, a.k.a. “The three-year anniversary of the day I broke my neck.” To state the not-so-obvious, it felt normal. Or at least I told myself it was normal. Today is bittersweet. Three years ago, I broke my neck and was left paralyzed, but was also given the rare and beautiful second chance at life. So what do I choose to let occupy my mind – the fact I was paralyzed, the fact that the Lord granted me a miraculous renewal, or both?
I woke up today, took a seat in my wheelchair, went to work out and progressed through the day allowing its hours to move me ever so slightly further from the day that so many others remember all too well. The reality I have accepted is that I have the same choice to make, every day of my life – focus on being paralyzed, focus on being alive, or both. Perhaps that’s why today is normal, yet so different.
I received a tremendous amount of support and well wishes today. I am fortunate to receive the support, prayers and generosity of others on a constant basis. A blessing I do not take for granted. For me, it was a great day! After my workout, Lindsey and AJ stopped over to pick me up so we could head down to the lake. It has become customary for me to spend this day on or as close to the water as I can. I miss the water. I miss riding over it, swimming in it, even diving under it.
The day began with some torrential downpour, but eventually gave way to some beautiful blue sky. In a way, I experienced a strange sense of freedom cruising along the pier on the banks of Lake Erie, riding as close as possible to the thick, metal chain-links that serve to separate pedestrians from the water below (even though they serve more of a decorative purpose than a security purpose). It felt so routine, yet strangely atypical.
Lately I’ve been feeling pretty good, which I think is due in combination to the routine exercise, warm weather and healthy diet that have become regularities these days. (A couple months ago I began a whole foods, plant-based diet eliminating all meat, chicken, fish and dairy. Basically, if it doesn’t come from the ground I don’t eat it.) Believe it or not, there are many days I don’t feel, or at least don’t behave as if I’m paralyzed. I keep myself as busy, positive and appreciative as I can each and every day. My ability to harness my boundless energy to traverse a staircase in two steps may lay dormant, but my passion, drive and determination burn more fiery than ever. Of course I miss running around like a chicken with its head cut off, but I love feeling productive, useful and alive! It all feels so customary, yet oddly uncharacteristic.
There is no profound sense of awakening for me today. No learned wisdom to accompany and mark this day as more significant than any other. Frankly, it feels the same, yet so extraordinary!
Stand Strong!
Scott