Tuesday – 9/25/2012

“How the time passed away all the trouble that we gave, and all those days we spent out by the lake. Has it all gone to waste all the promises we made? One by one, they vanished just the same. All the things I still remember, summers never look the same. Years go by and time just seems to fly, but the memories remain. In the middle of September we still play out in the rain. Nothing to lose, but everything to gain. Reflecting now on how things could’ve been, it was worth it in the end.”

It’s September. It feels like October. It’s getting dark earlier, staying cold longer and my consumption of hot tea has greatly increased. Fall used to be my favorite time of year. I especially loved early fall, when the leaves were just starting to change and the chill in the brisk air was just enough to leave a slight burning in my nose after a deep inhale of it. Unfortunately, it’s actually bittersweet for me now.

My body no longer tolerates the cooling temperatures or the leave-rattling wind gusts. It’s a challenge to sit outside for long periods of time, whether at a high school football game or on my back porch, where I’d like to sit and enjoy a cigar every now and then. However, I still get excited when I think about getting into bed later in the evening, wrapping myself tightly with covers and blasting off into the outer orbit of sleep and the vivid dreams it brings with it. Maybe I’m weird, but there’s just something tantalizing about the thoughts of a warm and cozy night’s respite after a long day in which you just couldn’t shake that dampening feeling that tends to invade one’s bones this time of year. Yes, I still get excited about falling asleep. The good news, though, is I get just as excited about waking up. This wasn’t always the case.

In the early weeks and months following my injury, sleep was something of a tease for me. Each night signaled the end of an extremely challenging, often painful, day. And while it may sound strange, I often found myself fearful of the night. That was the time when my family and friends would leave the hospital, leaving me by myself with nothing but the accompaniment of beeping machines, whistling ventilators and sometimes grouchy caretakers. On the nights that I was lucky enough to fall asleep between the two hour intervals of being turned, suctioned or poked and prodded for blood work, I would dream that I still had my legs. But the teasing commenced every morning, the instant I awoke and realized that I was in fact paralyzed and would soon be repeating the same monotonous, yet grueling daily routine. I am fortunate now to be able to fall asleep machine-free, on my own schedule and in my own bed.

Waking up this morning brought somewhat of a transition with it. My Best Man, Bryan, was in town this past weekend for a visit. He arrived Friday evening, and although the weather forced us to adjust some of our plans, we still had a great time catching up. We spent Sunday afternoon with my Dad and 60,000 other football fans at Cleveland Browns Stadium. Unfortunately, but not terribly surprising, my beloved Brownies lost yet another one. I know, shocking. Later Sunday evening, Bryan, hopped a flight back to Boston as I went to bed looking forward to the arrival of another house guest who would be flying in from Boston on Monday morning.

Prior to Bryan’s arrival on Friday, I spoke to the sixth, seventh and eighth grade classes at St. Bernadette’s school in Westlake. I always enjoy the chance to speak to younger kids and hopefully leave them with a few tidbits of advice to handle some of life’s lessons. Fortunately, they are usually engaged and not shy when it comes to asking questions. Friday was no exception and I’d like to think that the hundred or so kids got just as much out of the few hours as I did.

Currently, I have a few more talks scheduled over the next few weeks. One of the events will be open to the public and I would encourage anyone interested to attend. I will be speaking at St. Joseph’s Church in Strongsville on October 21 at 7 PM. All are welcome.

The remainder of the week should be pretty busy, exciting and somewhat unpredictable. I will be spending all of my time with my new house guest – a beautiful, 29-year-old from Boston. Her name is Melanie. She is slightly larger than the cats and a bit more animated. And in case you haven’t figured it out yet, she is a Capuchin monkey! I’m sure everyone is curious to hear more details, which I will provide in due time. For now, I’m focused on spending some quality time bonding with my new friend. I’ve already discovered one thing we can bond over – we pretty much both share the same diet!

Also, thank you to everyone who has already ordered stickers, T-shirts and awareness bands. Please check out the GEAR if interested in ordering anything. All proceeds go directly towards my physical therapy.

Thank you for all of your continued prayers and support!

Stand Strong!

Scott