There are some days when this injury really gets to me. Today happens to be one of them.
My grandfather, Pop Pop, will be laid to rest on Wednesday.
Death is a natural part of life. And just because it might happen frequently, doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I get that. However, the chance to say goodbye to loved ones who pass on should also be a natural part of life. But, I don’t get that.
Literally.
Although I mourn with others, I am forced to do it from 450 miles away. Sometimes, logistics can even get in the way of those things that they shouldn’t be allowed to. And for me, funerals happen to be one of them.
Of course most people don’t relish the idea of having to attend a funeral, but there can be something comforting about having the chance to say goodbye. Once again, my injury has robbed me of that catharsis. I wasn’t there to say goodbye to my grandmother, Nanni, either.
Obviously, others understand my situation and would never cast judgment on my absence, however, it’s something I loathe having to accept. I want to be there, and not just for me, but for others. In this case, for my mother as she is forced to bury her parents.
When I think about what it is I miss most since my injury, it’s not the big things, like walking, or playing catch. For me, it’s the little things.
The soft feel of a dog’s fur on my hands. The changing texture of the earth’s ground under my bare feet. The refreshing sensation of being wrapped in the waves of the ocean. These are the things that come to mind when I think about luxuries lost.
But most of all, I miss the ability to hug others. To hug my grandparents. My parents. My sister.
I welcome that day when it’s me passing out the free hugs to complete strangers, just like the individuals you see in all those viral YouTube videos.
Although today is filled with its share of woe, I refuse to feel sorry for myself. But it doesn’t mean I can’t feel really ticked off about the whole situation. As with any adversity, sometimes the whole thing just stinks.
But as with any situation, it will get better. Resiliency does rise to the top. Things do pass.
While my injury may have deprived me of my ability to do certain things, like say goodbye, it hasn’t stripped me of my capacity to remember things. Today is certainly a day to remember my grandfather. To remember his love for life. His passion for the Phillies. His appreciation of a cigar.
And that makes me smile.
[The two us enjoying a cigar, the day I graduated from Lehigh University]
Thank you to everyone for your prayers and support!
Stand strong!
Scott
Scott…the day after you posted this was 17 years and a day that my dad left this earth and it still hurts. Death is awful, and with your situation, not being there for those we love makes it tougher. You still set a great example for us all my friend…sorry for your loss!
God Bless.
Oh, Scott, I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. Having just lost both of my parents in the past 2 years, I understand the helpless feeling that comes along with the grief, knowing there is nothing anyone can do except mourn. A friend said to me, “time will work its wonderful magic”. I found that to be true. Your wonderful memories of Pop Pop will remain in your hearts forever. That’s a beautiful picture, the two of you look so happy!
Blessings and condolences,
Jody
Love you, cousin.
Scott,
Praying for you in your time of sadness. I too just found that a precious father of old neighborhood friends has past today. He was 94 and had 5 sons, their mother had past many years ago. The stories they can tell of growing up would leave you laughing until you cried. Yes death is probably the hardest part of life! You have a big heart and I know your family especially your “Pop Pop”, knows that as well.
I some what understand the chair, you need to go through those feelings and sort them out…..as I tell Ed, come back to me, you can’t stay there.
Much love and understanding, Mary
Scott, my prayers go out to you and your family.
Let me share something. I was not in my Dad’s hospital room when he died. I was taking care of my Mom. Later, I shared my deep sadness with Dad’s doctor. His words of comfort…”I remember you are Catholic. Don’t you think where your dad is now , he knows why you weren’t with him?”
Your Granpa certainly knows you would have been with him if you could.
To experience the death of a loved one is one of life’s greatest challenges.
I hope for you that the love and memories of your Pop Pop outweigh the
sadness you are experiencing now.
Your words are an inspiration to all who read them.
Thinking of you, Scottie…may he rest peacefully. Love ya.
Please extend my deepest sympathy to your WHOLE family. Death is a part of living, but I think it is the toughest part. I lost 3 close family members in the last year and a half – I can so relate to you and your family.
Your grandfather will always be a part of you, and I know how proud he is of you, Scott. You are AMAZING!
God Bless You – Mary
I am sorry for you and your Mom on the loss of Pop-Pop. Memories of him will always be in your heart. You will have him up there in heaven o pray to.
I hear from Linda that you are coming to St. Joe’s to speak on Nov. 1 Hope to see you then.
GO BUCKS
Scott, so sorry to hear about your Pop Pop. Hold on to your memories – you’ll treasure them forever!
Your heart is gold too. My sympathies to you and your mother.
Your blogs are beautiful! Your strength is amazing and inspirational. Praying for you during this difficult time.
I am so sorry, Scott, but life goes on. You will always have your memories.